Sleeping with your baby

Your picture-perfect view of new parenthood probably involves mom and dad staring lovingly over a crib as the baby sleeps. However, you, especially as a dad, may want to evaluate sleeping options and here’s why:

1. The baby-in-crib alone is a relatively recent and distinctly American practice. If you think about it, before multi-room dwellings and back to caveman days, families used to sleep together for warmth and safety. Most of the rest of the world “co-sleeps” and finds it completely natural to do so.

2. Crib death, or SIDS, is a very American phenomenon, and perhaps can be related to the distance mommy is from a struggling baby.

3. And finally, and most importantly for dads: co-sleeping keeps mom close to baby for middle-of-the-night feedings. When we had our first and second babies, they slept with us for the first 6-7 months. In the middle of the night, baby was hungry and baby reached out and had a snack. My wife often said she barely remembered the feeding. Compare that with the story of some of my friends who kept the baby in a crib across the hall. Very often it was the DAD who got up in the middle of the night (wife had baby all day after all and was still recuperating from delivery) and it was DAD who spent 15 minutes at midnight and 4AM warming the bottle and another 15 minutes feeding and burping the baby. Now, I will grant you that middle of the night feedings have a certain romantic glow to them – there you are, the great dad, alone with your thoughts and your new son and daughter in the moonlight… However, after a week of completely interrupted sleep you may get a little tired of this routine, especially when you count the months before “sleeps through the night” is a reality.

What a Healthy Newborn Looks Like

Newborn babies don’t usually look like the cute babies in diaper ads. Newborns’ heads are often more pointed than round. Their skin may be wrinkly and reddish in color. This is normal.

In the center of your baby’s head is a “soft spot” where the skull bones have not yet joined. This allows your baby’s head to be flexible during the birthing process. The skull bones will grow together to cover this spot as your baby grows. Meantime, the soft spot allows your baby’s brain to grow.

Sometimes there are dark red patches on the baby’s eyelids. They can also be on the bridge of the nose or back of the neck. No one knows what causes these. They usually go away during the first year.

Some babies are born bald, some have thin hair, and others are born with thick, dark hair. For many babies, this first hair rubs off. For others, the color may change.

Eye color can also change after birth. Eye color is usually set by the end of the first year.

The umbilical cord that is left on the navel at birth will drop off in five to 10 days. The place where it falls off will become your baby’s belly button.

Sometimes baby girls bleed from the vagina. Sometimes boys or girls will have swollen breasts. They may even produce a few drops of milk at birth. Hormones from the mother cause this. The discharge is harmless and will soon disappear.

Guiding Your 6 Months Old Active Baby

At the age of six months, your baby is more active than in past months. Because she gets around more, it’s a good idea to make your home safe for your baby. Put all cleaning supplies, medicines, poisons and sharp objects where your baby can’t get to them. Be sure that everyone who cares for your baby knows how to keep her safe.

Sometimes she will reach for things she shouldn’t. She may pull at your jewelry. She may try to eat a piece of paper. A baby this young does not need to be punished. She is exploring her world. You need to gently control what she does so she will be safe. She will also know that you are in charge. Be with your baby as she explores her world.

At this age, your baby is not doing things to upset you on purpose. She learns by trying new things. She doesn’t know the limits. She needs you to show her what is okay and what is not okay for her to do. She needs you to show her in a loving way.

Always check on your baby when she cries to be sure that she is okay. Never leave her alone. Always watch your baby’s activities. Praise her and hug her when she is doing things you like.

Let her know when she is doing something you don’t want her to do. If she starts to yank out an electrical cord, or if she spills out the contents of a purse, speak to her in a warm but firm voice. You don’t need to raise your voice. Gently take her hand away and give her a toy. Maybe she’ll be too close to the hot stove. Maybe she’ll try to grab something that could break. Gently pick her up and move her away from the thing she shouldn’t touch.

Do you think that your baby is too young for you to enjoy interacting with him? Think again. There is a lot you can do, using baby sign language, that will be fun for both of you. Additionally, it will also have a beneficial effect on your baby’s development.

Safety Corner for Five Month Olds

As your baby grows older, he will become more active. He will move around more and explore his world. Keep him safe as he grows and learns. Here are some dangers to watch out for:

• Never leave your baby alone in a bath for even a few seconds. Never leave your baby alone near any pool of water or even a bucket of water, no matter how shallow it is.

• Never leave your baby alone on a high place, like a tabletop.

• Never leave your baby alone in a crib with the sides down. If he does ever fall and begins to act strangely in any way, call the doctor right away.

• Never smoke around your baby. Be careful when you eat or drink hot fluids while holding your baby.

• Never give food to your baby that can make him choke. Foods should be soft and runny. They should be ground up or soft, so that your baby can swallow them without chewing. Some babies become constipated when they start to eat different foods at this age. If this happens to your baby, call your doctor.

• Older brothers and sisters may be jealous of the baby. They may try to hit, poke or squeeze him. They may not like it that you spend a lot of time with your baby. Talk to them about it. Let them know that you love them, too.

• Watch your baby when he plays with older children. By mistake, they may give your baby something harmful to play with, or they may be too rough with your baby.

• Make sure that your baby doesn’t grab objects that could hurt him.

• Put plugs in all open electrical outlets.

• Never leave your baby alone with a pet, even if the pet appears to be child-friendly.

How to Play with Your Ten Month Old Baby

Babies around ten months of age will enjoy being introduced to new toys or games. This is because they become increasingly curious and variety stimulates them. Exposure to newer experiences helps their ability to perceive and understand things better.

These are some of the ways in which you can play with you 10 month old child:

• Encourage your child to imitate what you do. Clap your hands, pull your nose, toss a ball and get your child to do these things just like you. Then start improvising on the theme. For instance, you pull your child’s nose, so that your child pulls yours.

• Children at this age are fascinated about how things fit inside other things. Show your child how to collect assorted toys and put them into a box. Then teach your child to empty the box into another container.

• Hide a toy inside a box or bag and encourage your child to retrieve it.

• Teach your child to balance blocks to build a column and then give it a nudge to see it collapse.

• Show your child how to push a ball or a toy truck along. Play a game where both of you push the toy across the floor to each other.

It is important that you remember that these play sessions are primarily meant to be enjoyed. Do not force your child to ‘learn’ at the cost of fun. Allow you’re the baby space to grow and develop. However, if you are concerned about some aspect of your child’s behavior, consult your pediatrician.

Experiences of a New Dad: Some Practical Advice

As a dad, sometimes it’s hard to know what to do with a newborn, especially if when you’re new to all this. Don’t let the awkwardness get in the way of spending time getting close to your new little guy or girl.

Here are a few fun things dads can do that you might try:

1. Strip the baby down to nothing or a diaper and lay him or her on a white sheet or blanket. Grab your camera and set the exposure controls to the smallest aperture possible – f12 or f16. Take a good inventory of the baby body parts (with obvious exceptions). With the smallest exposure setting, only what you are directly focusing on will be in focus in the shot.

2. Take pictures of your baby naked held in the palm of your hand. The window of opportunity for this is small so does it now. If you don’t, a year from now you’ll be at a party and see this kind of photo hanging in someone’s hallway and you’ll regret the opportunity that will never come again.

3. Strip down to the waist and enjoy the sensation of a newly bathed baby lying on your chest. This is the closest we can get to what moms feel, and it’s not half bad. I wouldn’t do it every day, but it’s not bad. You will feel closer to your child than you did moments before, if only because you literally are closer to him.

4. Go for a stroll anywhere with the baby in a baby Bjorn, and enjoy the unique feeling of being a new dad. Everyone else will know you are as well.

5. Fall asleep with baby on your chest (just make sure mom is around to remove him in case you roll around).

6. Read a book to your baby. Love for books and reading starts early with experience and role models.

And some things not to do:
1. Resist the temptation to set your newborn baby in a salad bowl or flowerpot. You’ll feel very guilty about the frightened look they get when you make fun of them.

2. And seriously, never, ever leave the baby unattended on counter, changing table, or in the bath, even for just a moment.

Low-Cost Ways To Pamper Yourself

You have a baby, and that’s a big responsibility. But you need to take time for yourself, too. You need to do some things that make you feel good. In turn, this will let you have more fun with your baby.

Here are a few suggestions:

* Have your baby’s dad, a friend or a relative watch the baby while you nap.
* Take time for a warm, relaxing bath when your baby is asleep.
* Ask your husband or a friend to give you a shoulder massage when you feel tense.
* Exercise (with your doctor’s OK). Exercise can make you feel less tired and better all over.
* Rent a movie you’ll enjoy. You can watch it while you nurse your baby.
* Don’t answer the phone if you are too tired to talk. If it is important (or sometimes even if it isn’t), the person will call back. Or you can install an answering machine.

Doing a few things you enjoy isn’t selfish. It is a good way to take care of yourself and your baby.