Fathers and Sons Bond Over Fantasy Football

Sports have always united dads and their kids, but fantasy baseball and football leagues are offering a new form of father and son bonding.

The Wall Street Journal spoke to Austin Metzger of Rochester, New York, and his dad Ken, two keen fantasy league fans. They explained that ten-year-old Austin joined his father’s league after another member left and went on to win both the football and the baseball league, taking home $275 in cash.

And they are not alone – according to the article, “father-son pairs are now discovering that fantasy sports can be as powerful a bonding experience as tossing a ball around the backyard”.

David Miller, the owner of FamilyFantasySports.com, told the newspaper that his site offers a $25,000 deposit in a 529 account for the college education of the children of the owner of the fantasy team that scores the most points in their league’s championship football game this season, adding to the family element.

His parenting advice was: “It’s really just about spending time with your kids.”

With the biggest sporting event in the world starting today, dads may want to look at one of the lesser-known leagues: fantasy Olympics.

Stay-at-Home Fathers Could Offer Moms Tips

Stay-at-home fathers are still a rarity in the US compared to their female counterparts, but it is a growing trend both among single dads and those in a relationship.

Now, it looks like dads who act as the primary caregiver to their children may already have a thing or two to teach moms about raising kids.

USA Today spoke to Andrew McDade, a teacher in New Jersey who decided to stay at home to raise his daughter when she was born nine years ago.

He found that many moms would be constantly coming up to him to offer unsolicited advice on how to look after his children, which may not be surprising considering that on average, working fathers provide about 40 per cent less childcare on a daily basis than their female counterparts.

However, the magazine spoke to a number of experts who suggested that fathers that do the bulk of the childcare could have some valuable tips to impart to moms.

For example, stay at home dads generally break with the traditional assumption that the person who raises the children should also do the housework. “When you think about it, the task of caring for kids are logically different from doing the housework,” Joan C. Williams, director of the Center for WorkLife Law at Hastings College of the Law in California, told the publication.

In addition, research has found that such fathers are also more likely to take time out for themselves than their female counterparts, keep a hand in the workforce and take an equitable approach to childrearing; all positive traits.

For parents who want to take a totally different approach to raising their children, the New York Times recently reported on the phenomenon of shared parenting, where both moms and dads share all the responsibilities of child care equally.

Best Bets in the Bookstore and Beyond for Single Dads

Whether this is all new or you have years of experience as a Single Dad, the pressures of solo parenting are constant. Though resources for Single Dads were historically scant, today (thankfully) there is a growing arsenal books, websites and organizations devoted to help you navigate through all the challenges of single parenting. Below you will find a comprehensive guide of resource that can help you navigate through life more effectively while caring for children on your own.

Best of Books

The New Father. The Single Father:  A Dad’s Guide to Parenting without a Partner (Abbeville Press, 1999); Designed to help Dads foster the father-child relationship, despite constraints or changes in their circumstances. Author Armin A. Brott gives Dads the knowledge, skills and support they need to maintain actively involved role models.

Where’s Daddy? (Bloomsbury Publishing PLC, 1996); An invaluable guide for mothers and fathers with broken families based on a questionnaire that was sent out to hundreds of separated and divorced parents. Where’s Daddy helps answer children’s questions concerning separation and divorce, and provides forewarning of the doubts and problems which may arise later.

Surviving the Single Dad Syndrome (PublishAmerica, 2004); Valuable information on how to be a great single dad, complete with ideas and strategies for building a home and a life for your kids whenever you’re with them.

Quality Time for Dad: A Parenting Guide for the Single Father (Authorhouse, 2004); Simple, straight and to the point, Quality Time for Dad answers the questions single Dads need answers to.

Fathers’ Rights: Hard-Hitting and Fair Advice for Every Father Involved in a Custody Dispute (Basic Books, 1998); Written by an attorney with extensive experience in Father’s rights cases, this book walks custody battling Dads through the different phases, scenarios, and pitfalls of impending litigation.

Always Dad: Being A Great Father During and After Divorce (Nolo Press, 2006): Paul Mandelstein, founder of Father’s Resource Network, shows Dads how to preserve family and self-esteem during and after divorce. The author provides clear guidelines on what to expect in a divorce plus a realistic plan for how to mitigate the pain and move forward with a positive frame of mind.

The Long-Distance Dad: How You Can Be There for Your Child-Whether Divorced, Deployed, or On The Road (Robert D. Reed Publishers, 2006); Steven Ashley, founder of the Divorced Fathers Network, teaches remote Dads how to stay connected to their children despite distance. This one of a kind book is complete with tools and techniques for long distance parents.

Cook Like a Mother, Clean Like a Pro: The Single Dad’s Guide to Cooking and Cleaning (PM Wright Communications, 2002); This combination cookbook and happy homemaker manual, written by Peter Wright, is ideal for single fathers who need to quickly learn how to provide proper nutrition and a clean environment for their kids.

Best of the Web

SingleFather.Org: This online community lets single dads connect, share and learn from each other virtually. While some of the sections remain to be completed, the site also includes a comprehensive resource and articles list on single parenting.

DadsRights.org: A location-driven database which allows fathers to search for legal representation, child support or legal information in their particular state.

DadcanDo.com: A comprehensive portal for all Dads, but particularly single ones who need extra help caring for children. The site is neatly divided into cooking, making and doing sections, and provides tips and techniques for just about everything from homework to birthday party planning.

The Single Fathers’ Lighthouse (www.lighthousedad.com); An inspiration website filled with an international resource directory, must read book list an plenty of humor and inspirational tips for single fathers.

How to Make the Best of Your Children’s Visitation Time

No matter how much visitation time a non-custodial parent may be awarded, it will not seem enough. After all, how can you ever reconcile to having your entire experience of being a dad crammed into a few hours or even a weekend. However, it is crucial that dads make the best of the time available to them.

These are ways we can make your visitation time as productive as possible:

* Plan activities in advance: It is important that you plan how you will spend the time with your children in advance. You can take them to a children’s movie, and follow it up with lunch in a family restaurant. Or take them to the park, treat them to ice-cream, take them shopping, etc.

* Play the dad: Remember, you are their dad and will always remain so. Fulfill that role by spending time doing things that dads generally do. Encourage them to participate in things you like. For instance, you can take them to a baseball game. Or share your hobby with them. Take them sailing, encourage them to help out in the garden, or plan a hike in the woods.

* Focus on quality time: The most important thing is not what you do, but whether you spend quality time with them. Do not be tempted to cram in too much all in one day.

* Be yourself: Do not worry too much about whether they are happy to be visiting you, or whether they would’ve preferred to stay with mom. This will help them understand that nothing changed because of the divorce. Sit back and watch them and enjoy and don’t be over-anxious. Instead, relax and enjoy the time you have.

* Make them feel at home: Create a place for them in your house. If you continue to live in the home you shared with them before, try to let them keep their room. Or give them a corner they can call their own and let them arrange it themselves. This will help them relax during the time they spend with you.

10 Tips to help Divorcing Men be better Dads

Dealing with a divorce that includes children may be the most difficult thing you ever do. Here are some general tips that might help guide you.

1. Listen carefully. Now is the time to make an extra effort to put down the paper or turn off the TV when the kids wants to talk.

2. Honesty counts. During the divorce, don’t make up stories about why ‘daddy is away.’ Lies, even if you think they will protect the kids, are not a good foundation for the change in your family.

3. Don’t’ forget about you. If you feel better, you’ll be better with your kids during this challenging period. Get lots of exercise and spend time with caring friends and family.

4. Ask your child about friends who have divorced parents. This is a good icebreaker to get them talking and learn their fears and feelings about divorce. Then you can answer them and focus on what’s most important to them.

5. Consider children’s books about divorce. You might not have the vocabulary to talk about divorce or find it awkward when it’s so personal. Children’s books are a good way to open up dialogue with littler children.

6. Don’t blame your kids, or let them think in any way that they are to blame. Most kids will feel this anyway.

7. Be sensitive to your child’s vulnerability at this time. Over-sized fears of monsters or robbers are common during this time. Make sure you also reassure your kids that you will always be there to support them and that means home, food, and security. That might seem silly to you, but it is very important for a child who may obsess over things they have heard or imagine about divorce.

8. Be aware that it’s normal for kids to want their parents to get back together again. You may have to hear about this fantasy for many years. Do not indulge the fantasy, but make sure they do not feel ashamed or silly for wishing that it could be true.

9. Allow your kids to express their feelings. They may be mad or sad. It’s important that they know this is okay.

10. Don’t put your child in the middle of anything between you and your ex-wife. Don’t ask your child to spy. Don’t say hateful things about your ex-wife. Don’t have your child act as a messenger to your wife. Neglecting this can be very harmful for the child since they need to love both parents and should not have to choose sides.

How to Feed Finicky Eaters: Tips for Single Dads

1. Use smaller portions so neither you nor your toddler feel that the goal is impossible. The correct serving for a toddler is roughly ¼ or less of what you would eat.
2. Remember that some kids just have more sensitive palates than others. Additionally, this sensitivity can also be toward color and texture of the food. Think of foods you hated as a child and how the entire experience was distasteful. Some kids just are more choosey about their foods due to this sensitivity and it is not an indication that they are spoiled or have some character flaw that you can “cure.”
3. Look for ways to make sure your child gets nutritional value from the meals he does eat by sneaking in protein or fruit into things that he eats without any problems.
4. Try to minimize distractions at the table. Toys, cartoons, other playing children nearby all can work to distract a child who might otherwise eat.