Checking up on your nanny

If you did all the background and reference checks on your nanny beforehand, chances are you have a nanny you can be sure of. However, if you didn’t do full due diligence or if your nanny had no prior experience or references, and you have concerns, here are some warning signs of a “bad nanny.”

• Your normally happy baby becomes agitated and fearful when the nanny arrives. Sometimes, this is just evidence that real bonding has not occurred or that the baby just really wants to spend more time with you or your spouse.
• Your baby has had too many accidents. Even if your nanny is not abusing your child, signs of too many accidents means your nanny is not staying on top of the situation to provide falls and injury, which is one or her most important jobs.
• You differ with your nanny on ways to take care of the baby and your nanny doesn’t follow through on your requests. Or worse, she is critical of your parenting style.
• You find that the baby is not clean or properly dressed. This is a sign that the nanny is not up to the task of properly taking care of your child.
• Your nanny is often late or has unpredictable absences. A nanny you can’t depend on is in many ways worse than no nanny at all.
• You discover her in a lie or she tells stories that don’t make sense. In this case, you must immediately fire your nanny. You can not entrust your child to any person who lies, steals, or betrays your trust.

Most nanny decisions can be made without hiring a detective or installing hidden cameras.

Thumb sucking in babies

Most babies and young children tend to suck their thumbs. While you may be concerned about your child’s habit, it is actually quite harmless.
Here are a few facts about thumb sucking:

• Babies are born with the urge to suck their thumbs.
• It is a natural reflex on their part.
• It helps them relieve stress and remain calm.
• It leads to the release of endorphins, which cause the baby to experience feelings of pleasure.
• Thumb sucking does not really lead to prominent teeth, except in children who are growing permanent teeth.
• Thumb sucking does not cause improper growth of the thumb.
• Thumb sucking children are not mentally deficient, emotionally insecure, or maladjusted.
• Generally, children give up sucking their thumbs by about 2–3 years of age. A few children, however, do continue to do so beyond the age of four years.

Many parents opt for a pacifier early on, which takes the place of the thumb. While less immediately practical (you have to buy, wash, find and replace them), they do have the advantage of making it easier to break the sucking habit at the appropriate time (either at 3-4 months or at 18 months) by just taking the pacifier away. Thumbsuckers sometimes do not break the habit until they are three, four, or even five years old.
While encouraging older children to give up sucking their thumbs, remember to:

• Provide your child with an alternative means of coping with stress.
• Avoid pulling the thumb out of your child’s mouth.
• Avoid criticizing the child about thumb sucking.
• Identify events that prompt your child to indulge in thumb sucking and deal with them appropriately.

Vacation Getaways for Kids and Dads

During vacation time, it is important that you get down to planning things together so that each family member can voice his choice of destination. A few time-tested vacation ideas or must-see places for dads and kids are suggested below. Whether it is skiing on a snow-capped mountainside that draws you or the safari, which delights your kids, you will find it all here.
So pack your bags and gift your children a vacation and a memory to stay with them all their lives!

National Park Vacations

Life in the city – daily routine, commuting to and back from work, etc. may get to you at times. If you are looking for an outlet, an outdoor family vacation is an answer to it. National Parks like Yellowstone (Wyoming, Idaho, and Montana), Yosemite (California), the Grand Canyon (Arizona), Crater Lake, Death Valley, Glacier Bay, etc. provide countless opportunities to revel in the abundance of nature. The Rocky Mountain National Park is one such destination worth considering. It provides adventure opportunities with all sorts of climbing, fly-fishing, snowshoeing, skiing, backpacking, hiking, wildlife viewing, and bird watching, all in the backdrop of breathtaking scenery.

Beach Wonders

Building sand castles on the beach with your kids may give you an insight into the fantasy world of your child and help you bond better as a dad. If you are the adventurous type, water sports at the beach with your kids is an exciting option. America is blessed with beautiful beaches which are well maintained, making them ideal family vacation spots. Clearwater Beach, Cumberland Island, East Hampton, Laguna, Little Palm Island, Naples, Newport Beach, Ofu Beach, Poipu Beach, and beaches in Hawaii are the top beaches suited for a family vacation. Whether you are attracted by pristine and calm waters, rocky beaches, sandy beaches or all types of snorkeling and diving sports, you have it all here. One of the most suitable beaches for kids is the Kauai Beach—a natural wonder in itself, it offers the opportunity to ride horses and indulge in kayaking, biking, and fishing, apart from water sports.

Cities

If you haven’t taken your kids to the famous cities of America, you haven’t added value to their education. It is important that your kids learn about the seat of American politics, economic growth and strength, cultural resources and influence, academic institutions, etc., and the impact of all these on the world. The cities of maximum importance are New York, Los Angeles, Washington, DC, Chicago, San Francisco, Boston, Philadelphia, Houston, Atlanta, and Seattle. In addition, places like Orlando, Las Vegas, and Miami can prove to be one of the most memorable family vacations with entertainment opportunities galore for all age groups.

Smart Ways to Deal with a Dirty Diaper While Out Shopping

It is a scenario dreaded by most new dads. You are out, maybe enjoying a nice afternoon’s shopping with your baby and your baby chooses just this time to poop. You’ve been lucky up until now and you’ve either avoided the task entirely or only had to make the change in the baby nursery with all the accoutrements around you.

When the baby goes, many a dad will pause for a minute and wonder whether you couldn’t’ just ignore it for a half an hour, or the time to get home. However, pooping a diaper and wetting a diaper are two very different things. If the baby is crying due to a dirty diaper, that screaming will only get louder and more insistent. You need to take action fast. Here are some tips if you’re never been caught with a diaper emergency outside of the house.

• First of all, never leave the house for more than five minutes without carrying a spare diaper. Babies have an instinct about pooping at the worst times. If you are out and really can’t either buy diapers or get home quickly, you have no choice but to admit you’re a horrible, lousy excuse for a father and find a mom to ask for a spare. She’ll probably smile patronizingly at you and you’ll have to suck it up to get the goods. Dads also have been known to wipe the baby thoroughly with toilet paper and then wipe again with wetted tissue and stuff the baby back into her clothes minus a diaper. This is a recipe for another wet disaster, but can be used in a pinch. Better a wet baby than a dirty baby.
• Keep an extra changing pad in the car or your bag. Believe me, you do not want to set your baby out on a dirty restroom floor or risk getting poop all over another surface, like your car upholstery or carpet. Baby poop smells and is hard to clean.
• Locate a place where you can easily do what is required. Large stores often have changing stations equipped for you to do the job. Otherwise, locate a baby section or store where the staff and other shoppers are not likely to raise eyebrows if you settle yourself in their midst to change your baby’s diaper.
• If you have a stroller, use it to lay your baby in to change the diaper.
• You can also use the back seat in your car or the back of a station wagon to lay your baby down while you change the diaper.
• Carry a zip lock bag to store the dirty diaper before you can discard it.

Know the Toddler Phase

The toddler phase in a child’s life can be sharply marked by an increasing need to assert its independence. This will be a time fraught with challenges for you, as you try to support your toddlers’ impulses to explore his environment, while also safeguarding them from any harm.

If the battle to assert your authority may sometimes lead to frayed nerves or tempers on your part, be sure that you will also be rewarded by the development of a new and complex level of interaction between your child and yourself. The toddler phase can indeed be very demanding, especially at the initial stage of the phase.
Here are some ways in which you can encourage and extend your support during this difficult and yet essential and interesting phase in your child’s life:

• Let your toddlers explore within a limit: It is the parent’s task to set acceptable limits and as long as your toddlers do not cross those limits, allow complete freedom to explore. Your toddlers will learn to appreciate this and broaden their horizons through the use of their newfound curiosities.
• Honor and appreciate the choices made by your toddler as long as they do not harm anyone.
• Be calm and composed: Do not get irritated by your toddler’s tendency to refuse or rebel. This is actually a good sign to tell you that your toddler is developing a mind of his or her own.
• Do not neglect your toddler’s urge to play: Get your child various types of games appropriate for a toddler’s age. Your toddlers will learn important things in the process of enjoying the games such as eye-hand coordination, an understanding of logical sequences in events etc.

Also read this Useful article for single parents.

Is it Normal for Your Baby to Suddenly Develop Shyness?

Shyness is a normal response seen in infants to an overwhelming social experience. Such children may or may not retain this behavior for life. Remember that shyness is not abnormal and is a phase of the development process. Ensure that your baby is not experiencing severe discomfort or fear in new situations.
Causes
While there is no known cause for shyness in babies, several possible explanations exist that include:

• Some researchers believe shyness may be an inherited behavior. However, at the same time, children are likely to adopt behaviors seen in their parents, biological or not.
• The temporary withdrawal seen in children is a defense mechanism that helps them to gain a sense of control over their surroundings, especially in new situations such as a party with bright lights and many people talking loudly at the same time.
• Nature provides babies with a natural wariness of strangers. Babies start recognizing faces early in life, and feel comfortable with the familiar faces of their parents.
• Some children are naturally shy, and do not enjoy being the center of attention.

Helping the shy baby
Here are some ways to help your shy baby ‘come out’:

• Children learn by example. Appear outgoing and confident when your child is watching.
• Socialize your kids with as many people as possible right from an early age in different situations.
• Use positive association methods. Do not criticize, yell, or shout if your child refuses to play with somebody. Smile when your baby agrees to be held by a trusted person you know well.
• Do not force children to do something they do not like, as it will only reinforce shy behavior.
• Make playtime fun and encourage your baby to play with other kids. Use your children’s favorite toys and objects to lure them into interacting with other people.

How Can You Be Tactful with Unwanted Advice?

If you are a new dad, you may often receive unsolicited advice on how to bring up your baby. Close friends or family members may typically offer this. Casual acquaintances and even total strangers may add their bit.

While it may be well meaning, a torrent of unwanted advice can be highly annoying. Parents have the first prerogative of making choices and making decisions for their baby. Exasperated parents are not to blame if they see unwanted advice as interference in their freedom to bring up their child the way they want to.

However, it is also important that you respond to such counsel in a way that is not hurtful to the other person. These are different approaches you can adopt when faced with unsolicited advice:

• Listen before you react: Listen to and consider a suggestion offered to you before rejecting it. Chances are you may actually value it.
• Find something to agree upon: Even if the advice in its entirety is not acceptable to you, try to see if there is some part of it that you can agree upon, and acknowledge that.
• Be polite: If you know that your rejecting it will not go down well with the person offering you advice, you could thank the person for the concern and let him know you will consider it. It will keep the peace and you are not bound to put it into practice.
• Argue wisely: If you must counter unsolicited suggestions, do so logically, backing your arguments with facts.
• Be frank: If you think it necessary, do not hesitate to let the person know that you do not agree with his or her opinions.

Useful Article: Parenting Advice

Moving is the Best Exercise for Babies

We know that exercise is important for our health as adults, but did you know that the same philosophy applies to babies? It is recommended that babies should work their muscles at least half-hour each day, although not necessarily all at once. Here are basic exercises that you can do with your baby, to stretch and tone the muscles:
Stretching
With your baby on his tummy, roll a ball in his direction so he has to extend his arms to grasp the ball and then roll it back to you. Alternately, you could sit facing each other with your feet bottoms touching and roll the ball back and forth, stretching in the process.
Standing
If your baby is trying to stand, encourage him by making him want to move towards you. Make sure you do this within the safety of a crib or on well-padded baby bedding. Play with a toy to get his attention and then re-position yourself on the other side of the crib or bed to get him to come to you. You can also make the stretching motion yourself and show him what it looks like when you stand up.
Crawling
Your infant’s attempts to crawl are naturally going to help him exercise his little body since he will work hard to push himself forward with his arms and legs. Motivate him to move by clapping your hands and motioning your child to come towards you. You can also use a noise-making toy to grab his attention.
Jumping
Toddlers require a more advanced activity like jumping to help practice motor skills. You can make a line on your carpet using a folded piece of construction paper and help your baby hop from one side to the other. To add to the excitement, make up rhyming tunes as you go or listen to music.

Dine Out with Your Baby

Just because you are a parent now does not mean you can’t occasionally dine out without feeling guilty about leaving the baby at home. The problem is that your baby, who may not find the prospect highly exciting, could end up feeling bored or neglected.
A little forethought and planning however can ensure that eating out will be as much fun for you as for your child. Here are some valuable tips to make dining out with your baby a pleasant experience for you:

• Keep your baby busy: Carry interesting toys or games to keep your baby engrossed in playing while you are at the eatery.
• Ensure you baby is comfortable and safe: You may carry your baby’s favorite chair to the eatery so your baby feels at home. Alternately, take some time to choose a suitable place in the restaurant—far away from kitchen odors and noise.
• Be ready for food-spills: Bring in your baby’s towels, diapers, and napkins to take care of those food-spills as soon as they may occur.
• Order your baby’s favorite food: Your baby needs to be equally attracted by the food on its platter, as you would be with yours.

Dine in a quiet and un-crowded eatery: Crowded restaurants will tend to make your baby restless and cranky.

• Reserve early and pre-order the food: Avoid long waits to be seated and consider ordering the baby’s food immediately after sitting down.  Most restaurants will have simple pasta and butter and steamed veggie options for babies.   Don’t hesitate to ask.

Preparing Kids for the Challenges of the First Days of School

It’s hard to imagine what goes on in a little one’s mind when he goes to the big school, but you can help him overcome some fears by talking to him before hand.

For example, many kids at pre-school and even kindergarten level, are nervous about the bathroom. Reassure your child that he can ask to go any time. Some kids have accidents at school, and he should be aware that this type of thing can happen, and does happen to a lot of kids. If you have given him strict instructions on other people touching him in the bathroom, make sure he is aware of how changes in caregiving my change that policy, for example if a teacher has to wipe him. Some kids will time their bowel movements to avoid school time. Discuss this with your doctor if it becomes and issue.

Buy clothes for your child with easy closures. No child at this point wants to have to ask their teacher to help them button their pants. Just at the moment you are trying to teach them autonomy, don’t burden them suddenly with shoelaces that need to be tied by an adult.

School is an ideal time to teach about making friends. You don’t have to be a car salesman to know the value of walking right up to someone, pointing to something you have in common (your love of sand or the color of your tennis shoes) and introducing yourself. This is not a skill that comes easily, but kids can learn these skills to, especially if you show them how it works, by introducing yourself to other moms and dads.

Lunchtime might also be stressful, if your child has never had to eat on her own. Many kids get stressed at lunchtime because they don’t have the leisure to drag it out like they do at home. Make sure your child has items that are easy to manipulate on her own rather than complicated foods that need to be reheated and might be hard to eat.

Your child may be scared of other small details that don’t worry you at all. He might think the school nurse means lots of shots. Or the school bus looks like a big scary tunnel he might get lost in and never find his way back home. Explore and discuss things like this with your child by asking him about his likes and dislikes about the school.

With a very small amount of putting yourself in their shoes, you can easily take steps to ease into the transition to school.