Ray Romano’s Advice for Dads

Celebrity dads go through the same grind as any first-time dad, including having fatherhood jitters. Ray Romano admits that he was no different. In his recent appearance on the Today show, Ray confessed to Matt Lauer that he was so nervous after his first child was born that he couldn’t get anything right.

The Everybody Loves Raymond star remembered the birth of his daughter Alexandra over 19 years ago, which led to his first dad debacle, followed by his first lesson in parenting as well.

“My daughter was born at St. Vincent’s Hospital right here in New York,” he says. “I went to pick them up, my wife and child, and [with my] newborn baby in my arms, [I] go outside [and say], ‘Where’s my minivan?’ I parked in a tow-away zone so we had to go to Queens in a yellow cab. My daughter came home in a yellow cab.”

Ray and his wife Anna are also parents to 16-year-old twins Matthew and Gregory, and Joseph Raymond, 11. The 51-year-old star admits that raising four kids has made him wiser. He has some very good advice for dads, “My advice is just let the woman tell you where to go and what to do.”

Ray Romano is also the voice of the mammoth, Manny, in Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, which is now in theaters.

Video Games That Keep The Family Together

Survey: Videogames Are Not Detrimental to Kids’ Academics

A new study has shown that videogames have no adverse effects on the academic performance of kids. The research, done by the Michigan State University, reveals that video games do not affect children’s math skills and may have a positive effect on visual-spatial skills.

The study monitored the academic performance of students from 20 middle schools in Michigan. The researchers compared the usage of online and offline video games that the students played in correlation to their academic performance. It found that the videogames helped the kids learn visually by reacting and thinking in terms of images. The children were able to develop key skills that would come in handy in various fields such as engineering, technology and science.

Parents Perspective
Parents may have encountered the good and bad side of videogames. Many parents who allow their children to play educational videogames from a young age have known their kids to be more responsive to them than while simply watching television. For example, videogames are known to increase children’s reaction times in response to stimuli.

Another advantage for many parents is that videogames can be used to introduce children to computers, thereby giving kids a head start for the future.

On the flipside, there are disadvantages to videogames too. Children who play age-inappropriate games may have a bad experience and react negatively to them. Some studies have also demonstrated that first-person-shooter (FPS) and other similar games may increase childrens’ aggression levels and desensitize them to violence.

Children Reading Aloud With Us

As children’s reading ability improves, they may want to read aloud with us, starting off with just saying a word or two that they recognize. Even children who cannot read at all can sometimes read along, either because you have read them the book so many times that they have memorized many of the sentences or because in a predictable book, certain phrases or sentences are repeated many times.

With picture books, another way to involve children in reading along is to use the pictures. For example, the sentence “Look at those puppets” appears accompanied by pictures of hand puppets in the book My Speech & Drama Class. Instead of reading the entire sentence, we can read only, “Look at those _______” and encourage children to use the drawings to fill in “puppets”. Or, children can just name what they see in the pictures.

Later, children can use picture books to create their own stories. If those stories are different from what is in the book – a little or a lot different – that is okay. Also, when we are not reading to them, children may take books and ‘read’ them on their own, without us around. This reading play is an early stage in developing a silent reading habit. As children’s reading ability improves, they can read the words they know and leave the other words to us.

When George’s niece Crystal learned how to read, she still wanted him to read to her, and refused his invitations to take turns reading aloud, even when they were reading a book that was within her ability range. Instead, she read along silently as George read aloud, quickly pointing out any errors he made. However, Crystal’s Elementary 1 teacher reported seeing Crystal reading aloud to her classmates!

Older children may enjoy round-robin reading aloud. For example, when one of George’s nephews, Hank, was 9-years-old, they would take turns reading from books that Hank choose. The read aloud fiesta became multi-generational when Hank’s grandmother joined in.

Guide for Dads: Reading Aloud to Babies, Part 1

Dads can begin reading to children as soon as they are born. Reading aloud to babies teaches them the sounds of the language, forms a pleasant association with books, stretches their attention span and offers us something fun to do with these cute little creatures.

Amazingly, research led by Anthony DeCasper shows that babies respond to being read to even before they are born! For example, the researchers found that after birth, babies’ sucking patterns and heart beat changed when they heard passages that their mothers had read to them in the final trimester of the pregnancies.

Mem Fox is a well-known children’s author as well as being a university lecturer and the author of a book on reading aloud with the great name of Reading Magic. She recounts how a teacher education student of hers gave birth while doing her university studies.

The new mother was torn between spending time with her son, on one hand, and working on her studies, on the other hand. So, she decided to do both at the same time by reading aloud to her baby from the books and articles she needed to prepare herassignments. As Fox tells it, “The baby never knew the difference. He was lulled by the sound of his mother’s calming voice and by the comforting knowledge that she was there with him” (p. 29).

Jim Trelease, author of the landmark Read Aloud Handbook recounts a remarkable story of the power of reading aloud to very young children. When Steven Kunishima was 18 months old, he was diagnosed with a severe brain disorder – hypoplasia of the vermis. Doctors told his parents that Steven would never walk, talk or be able to do other things that require control of muscles. His mother, Geri, was a teacher and a firm believer in reading aloud. She mobilized her husband and her two olderdaughters, and they read to Steven every night, even though their reading produced no reaction, just a blank stare.

Then, after three months, what must have seemed to the family like a miracle happened. When Trudi, Steven’s eldest sister, told him that it was story time, Steven struggled to drag himself across the floor until he reached the bookcase. Then, he clumsily reached for the book that was apparently his favorite, a story about animals. Somehow, he managed to open it. Thisjourney the doctors said would never happen was repeated by Steven the next night.

Their spirits boosted by this demonstration of the power of reading aloud, the family redoubled their reading, and Steven continued to improve. Trelease reports that by age thirteen, Steven was able to walk and talk, and was reading at the samelevel as his peers. He wasn’t a great athlete or a great scholar, at least not yet, but for someone who was expected to belittle more than a vegetable, Steven’s progress was truly incredible.

Dad reminder: You can start to read to your kids at ANY age. It’s fun for the kids and dad. It really is a dad duty!

How to Take your Baby’s Temperature

If you suspect your baby feels warmer than usual you may need to check for fever. Always use a modern digital thermometer to take your child’s temperature. These are not only more accurate and easy to use, but also avoid the risk involved in older designs that use mercury.

While the rectal temperature is the most accurate method for babies and very small children, parents often opt for the less accurate armpit reading because it is easier to do for a first reading. You can take your child’s temperature in the following ways:

* Rectum: Let your baby lie down on the stomach or on the side. Then apply a little petroleum jelly on the thermometer tip and gently insert it into your child’s rectum. Avoid the use of force and take care not to insert more than about an inch from the tip. Keep the thermometer in place until it beeps, then remove it and take the reading.

This method usually gives the most accurate results. It is best for children who are older than three months old. For reasons of hygiene, do not use a thermometer that you insert rectally, inside your child’s mouth. However, if you must, clean it with rubbing alcohol before you do so.

* Mouth: Position the tip of the thermometer under your child’s tongue. Ask your child to close his mouth, while keeping it in place with the lips so that it does not shift from under the tongue. Keep the thermometer in place until it beeps, then remove it and take the reading.

This method is ideal for older kids; those over four years old.

* Armpit: Position the thermometer under your baby’s armpit in such a way, that it lies in direct contact with the skin. Hold your child steady. Keep the thermometer in place until it beeps, then remove it and take the reading. This is the least accurate method. It is ideal for a primary reading in case of babies who are younger than three months old. If on the higher side (above 99° F), it can be followed up with a rectal reading.

Call the doctor immediately if:

* Your child under 3 months old records a temperature of 100.4° F or higher.

* Your child over three months old records a temperature higher than 104° F.

Teach Your Baby To Trust

Your baby needs you to help him feel secure and safe in the world. Gaining your baby’s trust is one of the most important things you can do as a parent.

The way to teach your baby to trust you is to meet his needs. Sometimes parents are afraid they may spoil a baby by paying too much attention to him. Meeting your baby’s needs is not spoiling him. In fact, when you feed him, change his diapers and comfort him when he’s fussy, you are helping him grow and feel more secure.

You may feel you have the hardest time meeting your baby’s need for comfort when he’s fussy. These times are hard on you and your baby.

Babies can fuss for all kinds of reasons. They have many things to learn, such as how to talk and how to control their hands and feet. They also need to learn how to get your attention when they need it. Your baby isn’t fussing to annoy you or because he is spoiled.

You already have learned some things that help him. You have learned to hold him close, rock him, bathe him and make faces at him. You have learned to sing to him. You have learned to pick him up and walk him around. You have learned to always be gentle and calm with him.

When you take care of your baby’s daily needs, he will feel safe and secure. For example, your baby may quit crying when he sees you preparing to feed him or change his diaper. He has learned to trust you. He knows he doesn’t have to keep crying.

Your baby will spend time amusing himself by looking around. He will also“talk” to himself. He will play with his hands and feet.

These periods when your baby amuses himself will get longer. This is a sign that he feels safe, secure and trusting.

Low-Cost Ways To Pamper Yourself

You have a baby, and that’s a big responsibility. But you need to take time for yourself, too. You need to do some things that make you feel good. In turn, this will let you have more fun with your baby.

Here are a few suggestions:

* Have your baby’s dad, a friend or a relative watch the baby while you nap.
* Take time for a warm, relaxing bath when your baby is asleep.
* Ask your husband or a friend to give you a shoulder massage when you feel tense.
* Exercise (with your doctor’s OK). Exercise can make you feel less tired and better all over.
* Rent a movie you’ll enjoy. You can watch it while you nurse your baby.
* Don’t answer the phone if you are too tired to talk. If it is important (or sometimes even if it isn’t), the person will call back. Or you can install an answering machine.

Doing a few things you enjoy isn’t selfish. It is a good way to take care of yourself and your baby.

Dads’ New Year Resolutions

Christmas is over and the end of the year is almost upon us. It’s a time when most of us think over the past year and consider making New Year Resolutions. January 1st marks the beginning of a new year and a clean slate.

Few of us actually live up fully to all the commitments we make. And that’s okay. What’s more important is that we try to retain the spirit with which they were made. Even by acting upon just a few from the original list, and maybe even then only partially, we can still make the annual ritual of New Year resolutions a worthwhile exercise. Additionally, the very act of writing down a task, objective, or resolution makes it more likely that you’ll follow through on it.

Dads, here is a list of some New Year Resolutions ideas to help you make the coming year a great one for yourself, your spouse and your kids:

For yourself

• While it’s great being a dad and shouldering responsibility for the well-being of your family, you have your own life too. Rediscover a hobby that you loved, but gave up because you felt you lacked the time to nurture it. Or seek out a new one, maybe take up golf, or gardening.

• Implement a fitness regime for yourself. A daily jogging schedule or workout session using a home gym, treadmill, exercise bike, or elliptical trainer will help you stay in shape and is the biggest investment you can make for yourself – and for your family.

• At the end of a busy day, spare yourself the time to catch up on your reading.

For your spouse

• Start dating your wife all over again! Buy her flowers, a box of chocolates, or a gift, and take her out to dinner, or to the movies. It will keep the spark in your marriage alive, and help beat the stress out of everyday living.

• If possible, plan a quarterly getaway without the kids. Time away from the kids will give you time to reconnect with your spouse as a partner, rather than as a mom. You’ll both find it easier to come home to the kids if you have time to escape the routines of parenthood with the one person who shares the responsibility for getting you in this situation in the first place.

For your kids

• Resolve to be more available to your family. This does not necessarily mean spending more time with your spouse and children, but ensuring that you spend quality time with them. If you use a Blackberry or other PDA, consider giving yourself some rules on its use. Turn it off during meals, keep it out of the bedroom, or resolve to quit using it while driving.

• At all times, resolve to be more patient with your children: while this one may seem difficult, it is not impossible.

• Make a list of things you like to do and do them with your kids. Sometimes, dads feel guilty that they aren’t doing the “right” things with their kids during spare time. The key thing, though, is that you spend time with them. They will appreciate your passion and may even take up activities that you can share with them as they turn into young adults.

• Take the kids on that long pending camping trip. There is simply no better way to bond with your children than to have them experience the great outdoors while living in a tent.

• Use a camera to put together a photographic record of your family. Or document the growing years of your children on a camcorder. Studies show that happy people find ways to extend or relive happy times. One way they do that is by taking photos and recording events that make them feel good.

• Read out to your kids. Reading from books meant for your children’s age group, and following it up with a stimulating discussion or debate, can make for an enriching family activity. For young infants, you can read out from illustrated board books, while pointing out the pictures to them.

• Introduce your kids to a hobby. By encouraging your child to pick up a musical instrument, for instance, you will be giving him or her, an interest that will last a lifetime.

• Introduce your kids to astronomy. A telescope, or even a good pair of binoculars, will open up the wonders of the night sky to them. Similarly, a Star Theater Home Planetarium will allow you to bring the stars right into your living room.

• Decorate your children’s room, using a theme in keeping with the special interests of your child; he/ she will always love you for it.

Top Five Tips for Dads on Balancing Life and Work

Most modern day dads and especially new dads would love to spend time with their kids. However, the work schedule usually prevents dads from balancing life and work. Time flies and before they know it, most dads find that their kids have already grown up. Their desire to make time for those magic years never materialized. 

Balancing life and work is not easy. It continues to be a challenge to set apart quantity and quality time to spend with kids. Here is a brief list of tips that might help. Please add your own tips in the comments box at the end. 

1. Create a Priority List

Type or write down your list of regular tasks and set priorities. If spending time with your kids is one of your priorities, list it. Writing down your priorities and goals, if not overdone, has a magical ability to turn thoughts into actions. 

2. Create a List of the Less Important Activities

Do you spend time reading the newspaper cover to cover? Do you spend time aimlessly surfing TV channels? List these and other less important activities here. You can fit in only a certain number of activities in a 24-hour schedule. You will need to say “No” to some activities that you normally do without thinking. Though it may be difficult, it is important to learn to say “No.” You need to prioritize things that matter the most and say “No” to the things that matter the least. 

3. Ensure Your Workplace is Family Friendly

Workplaces need to recognize that their employees are real people with real needs—that they are “humans” or “persons” and not just “human resources” or “personnel.” Learn how to identify and select an organization which will be friendly to your family commitments. 

4. Eat Together

Make sure your family eats at least one meal a day together. It may not always work, but you need to at least set a schedule. Experiment with different methods for making a mealtime together work for your family. Eating together creates one opportunity for all family members to voice an opinion and understand what’s going on. 

5. Start Having Family Night

Set aside one night a week to be together—no TV, interruptions, no excuses. Get everyone to modify their work schedules, set aside other demands, and spent the evening together. Try activities such as working together in the yard, being involved in community service projects, or visiting relatives together. Alternatively, try fun activities like hiking, playing board games, going on a picnic, or a party games night.

These five measures alone may not balance to your life and work. However, they can be a great start to help you find more ways to bring complete harmony into your life and work.

Top Tips for Dads Suffering through a Co-ed Baby Shower

If you’ve ever been to a coed baby shower, you’ve probably winced in agony over the bad jokes and painful party games. You probably hadn’t had so much fun since your wedding shower. Well, you may get your chance to attend another one soon, with yourself in hot seat this time. Here are our tips for survival.

1. Play along. Yeah, it sucks to be a dad-to-be and have to yuck-it-up with other sissy dads and the alpha she-wolves who are clearly in control of the entertainment. You’re not calling the plays on this one though.

2. Play along. You’ll likely have to compete in classic shower games. Here’s a taste of two of them so you aren’t obviously appalled when they are explained to you:

• The Diaper Olympics. Here you are asked to compete against other non-child bearers to change a diaper usually filled with an appetizing mixture of baked beans and mustard and ketchup. Please, whatever you do, don’t mimic eating from the diaper. Extra credit hint, if you’re having a girl baby or have been assigned a girl doll, wipe from “front to back.”

• Who sucks the most? – You compete with other suckers to see who can drink down a baby milk bottle. If you’re really unlucky, they’ll use formula. Don’t worry though, not even the most sadistic host will fill the bottles with real mother’s milk

3. Play along. Don’t expect many drinks to be served at a shower. Showers are usually planned by women who aren’t in the drinking mode at the moment—they’re either nursing or pregnant themselves. And, crawling babies are usually the order of the day. Note to self: crawling baby is no match for tipsy, staggering 200 lb. dads. If you have ever done meditation or yoga, this is a good time to dust off your technique, pick a spot on the wall, and get into a Zen state until you’re allowed to get back in your new mini-van and go home for a nap.

4. Play along. If you don’t have any kids yet, be prepared for more talk about diapers, burping, and feeding than you’ve ever heard in your life. This is your baptism by fire, baby. You run out of the house screaming and you’ll always be that guy who just wasn’t ready to be a dad!